Why don't children enjoy festivals and family gatherings anymore?

“Why won’t my child play Holi with me?”
“They never want to attend weddings anymore.”
“Why wont my child talk to guests when they visit?”

A parent recently shared this concern with me.

During festivals or family gatherings, their child would avoid interactions, stay in their room, or scroll on their phone while everyone else socialised.

On the surface, it does sound like the child is being rude.
Disobeying their parents, staying on their phone by themselves while a room full of people are thriving.

But most of the time, that isn’t the intention.

Your child isn’t being disrespectful.
They’re mentally exhausted.

In India, the wedding and festive season often overlaps with the final/board exam season.

You may be preparing to attend a wedding today, while your child is preparing for an exam the very next morning.
Just as families plan celebrations, students are managing exams, tests, assignments, projects, coaching, sleep schedules, health, and expectations, all at once.

With this constant load, many students begin to feel mentally divided.

Unlike adults, children often struggle to juggle multiple priorities simultaneously.
And exams themselves aren’t limited to one subject; students prepare for five or six subjects at the same time, alongside extracurricular and internal assessments.

As students move to higher classes, this pressure only increases.

I’m not suggesting that children shouldn’t study or that festivals shouldn’t be celebrated.

But parents should recognise that their child may already be overwhelmed.

If a child is physically present at a function but mentally preoccupied with unfinished syllabus or upcoming exams, are they really celebrating?

As parents, you may not always be able to help academically.
But there is one powerful thing you can do:

Talk.

Not about marks.
Not about results or career scope.

Ask how they’re feeling.
Ask what feels difficult right now.
Ask whether they’re coping okay.

Even small, judgment-free conversations can make a lasting difference.
They remind children that they are not alone, that someone understands the mental load they carry every day.

And to any student reading this:
If this season feels overwhelming, know that what you’re feeling is valid.
You’re trying to balance more than people often realise and you don’t have to go through it alone.

This Holi, may we celebrate not just togetherness, but also understanding the silent pressures our children carry.

Wishing you all a very Happy Holi 😊
#HappyHoli #ExamSeason #Boards